Are coffeemakers smarter than a 5th grader?
So here’s the deal. Before Christmas, I broke the carafe on our old coffee maker. Much to my husband’s skepticism, I did not do this on purpose. Yes, I had mentioned a time or two-dozen that I wanted a new coffee maker. I felt it was time to kick it up a notch. For this reason, I felt it prudent, once the carafe accidentally (it really was an accident) broke, that husband and I do some research and put some thought into the purchase of a new machine. I mean, we’re talking coffee here people. This was serious business unlike buying a flat screen TV bundle pack, which some people think is the most important purchase ever. But I digress!
I knew what I wanted. I was told it didn’t exist. I refused to believe this bit of malarkey. I was on the hunt.
What machine of coffee-magic did I want? I’ll tell you. I wanted to be able to push a button and get a cup of exactly what I desired. I do not think this is unreasonable. I wanted to be able to froth up something impressive for a friend, without the need for a stainless steel jug and frother spout, and gazing into a haze of steam that would melt my mascara. If I had a crowd over for impromptu frivolity, (it could happen some day!), I wanted to be able to brew a POT of coffee so I could mingle in my fashion wedges and not spend the night playing barista. I didn’t mind using a pod-thingy or a k-cup thing-a-bob, but I did want to be able to use my own ground coffee should the mood strike.
Did I find what I wanted? No.
I know, I’m still in shock and therapy is not out of the question. But I did find almost what a wanted and learned a few things in the process.
Husband and I sojourned to one of my favorite stores, Sur La Table. I could spend hours in this store. These kids know all things kitchen. In the back corner are all the coffee makers. They’re on display, plugged in and ready to wow you. I tried to test one, (the sign said I could) and of course it didn’t work. This did not come as a surprise to me, nor would it to anyone who knows me. The helpful coffee-expert swooped over to save the day and brewed me a sample. Not sure why it worked for her since it appeared she pushed the same button I did.
It was DIVINE! No need to look any further, that was the one. I wanted it. I needed it.
It cost $2,899.00. Wow.
*Cue inner-debate with self and outer-debate with husband* Coffee maker or car for soon-to-be 16-year old son. Really swayed towards the coffee-magic-maker, I have to tell you. It was that good. But even I could concede that nearly three grand was a tad excessive.
I licked the trace of cappuccino-nirvana off my lip and inquired why this machine is so expensive, not that wasn’t not worth it, I assured the sales woman, as I buried my nose into my Dixie cup-sized of hot goodness.
“Oh!”, the expert swooned. Ok, maybe I swooned, but she proceeded to explain what every penny of that $2,899 provided. Basically, it was like Rosie from the Jetsons.
It did everything for you, before you needed it done and how you needed it done … should you have thought of it first. Should the mere thought of taking your coffee on the road cross your mind, it switched from 4 oz to 12 in an instant. You stifle a yawn, and your coffee would switch from Café au Lait to a triple-shot Americano.
How did it know? No clue! Which is how I decided right then that this was not the coffee maker for me. Anything that plugged into a wall and had far-greater brainpower and reasoning that I did, was bound to end in a power struggle. And, sadly, I didn’t think I stood a chance.
What happened to scooping coffee into a paper filter? What happened to pulling the pot out mid-brew to pour a cup because you couldn’t wait and being thankful for pause-n-serve brewing? What happened to instant coffee? Ok, instant coffee is gross, never mind that last bit.
Wait, this was about kicking it up a notch. Focus, Ginger! I consulted my list of things I wanted in a new coffee maker and … I made a teensy compromise and I think I’m going to get almost exactly what I wanted.
I’ll be ordering this little Breville beauty. It does everything I want except make a pot. I’ll just buy a cheap Mr. Coffee to keep under my counter in case I get surprised by a crowd of revelers and I’m all dolled up in my party-girl clothes. It does brew a cup a time but in 5 size choices. I can use a k-cup thingy OR I can use my own coffee in the included other cup-thingy. I can even have hot water for tea. It was easy to use and it’ll look all pretty on my counter.
How about you? Do you think technology sometimes thinks too much? Are we sharing too much brain-power with our household electronics? Does it even matter as long as we get a great cup of coffee?