Just Say it Sucks

Don’t you wish advertisers would tell you the truth about a product?  I realize if they did that, people would not buy their stuff and they’d not make any money. So maybe not the smartest marketing plan, but it would be nicer and certainly more honest.  I mean how refreshing would it that be? The Truth!

Take mascaras for instance.  There are a zillion kinds and they all tell you how your lashes will be amazingly transformed.  But they lie! Like the one that says 8X the Volume.  Really?  Well, I tell you, that is not true.  I tried it and my lashes did not expand 8 x times that day and they most definitely didn’t look like this. (photo removed)


Promises of fuller, longer, and curly thrown at you left and right. False eyelashes are the rage and now there’s a mascara called Falsies. You can just swipe those false-lashes right on.  It doesn’t work.  I have a tube. It sucks. Quite frankly it should be called, Goopy Gunk.

And before you think I’m out to vilify mascara, because I’m not, I love mascara. I just want it to not suck. Let’s look at some other false advertisements.

How about that shampoo where the woman in the commercial is having a very, um, exciting, shower.  Really?  It’s just shampoo. If she was having that great of a shower, well, let’s just say it wasn’t the essence of herbs

Don’t even get me started on those shape-shoes. You know, all the shoes out there now telling you that you don’t have to set foot in a gym to have the perfectly muscled and toned legs and butt. Just buy these shoes and walk around and VOILA—Bootilicious-is-Yours!  What??!!  If you could get the perfect rear-end from spending forty bucks and wearing a certain shoe, if they ‘really’ worked, everyone in the nation would be wearing them. In fact, there would be no need for advertisement.  Be realistic! Sorry, the ad should say, “We don’t really work but you’ll try anyway just in case it’s really that easy … but it’s not.”

Here’s my tip of the day … no strike that, it’s the tip of forever.  If you want an amazing backside and shapely legs, use this equipment correctly with a lot of weight on each end and eat clean wholesome food.  Shoes optional!  🙂

And another thing, explain how ‘invisible solid’ results in white streaks on my t-shirt?  Should be called, Deodorant – Will absolutely leave a mark.

Now, don’t think I’m cynical and grouchy. I just like some straight talk. I want to know how marketers can get away with these promises.

Some products actually deliver. When they do, I tell everyone about them.

Take Mr. Clean’s Magic Eraser.  Now that thing is truly magical. I’m serious. I don’t know how it works but when in doubt, try it. It cleans anything, I swear! They don’t call it magic for nothing, folks.  It’s legit!

What do you think? In the comments, you get to have some fun with me.  Re-name a product for what it ‘really’ does and not what it promises to do.


About Ginger Calem

I never met a notebook I didn't want to buy. Pens speak to me. Sticky notes are dear to my heart. Some of my best friends are those clambering in my head trying to get onto the page. And when they have their stories told, and I release them to the world, I hope they'll be your friends too.

Posted on March 5, 2012, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 25 Comments.

  1. Mr. Clean Eraser? I’ll give that one a try, but only because you’re saying it works and I trust you.

    False advertising is to be expected. You don’t even really need the word “false’ in my opinion.Most advertising is just a gimick to get you to buy something. Rarely do things function as promised. So many times I’ve been disappointed by a product.

    I can totally relate with you about the “no white marks” claim on deodorant too. I have yet to find one that doesn’t leave a white mark. So annoying.

    Oh well, at least we know the gym will work – or so you say. I’ve been going faithfully now for over 2 months and haven’t seen any change. I haven’t lost any weight or clothing sizes. But, I’m still going. Hopefully my cholesterol levels will be lower. Having that checked this week.

    See you for Writer’s Butt Wednesday!

    Patricia Rickrode
    w/a Jansen Schmidt

    • If you’ve never experienced the magic of the Magic Eraser … just wait. You will be Awed!! I use it to detail our whole boat. It is brilliant on microwaves, fridge handles, sinks (oh my gosh, sinks!!) … Love it!

      Let me know about the cholesterol. Also, if you want to DM me or email me and let me know what you’re doing at the gym or have me take a closer look at your diet, I will. If you’re not getting the results you want, time to do some adjustments so you will. 🙂

  2. mr clean eraser is wonderful. I am so with you on that, Ginger. and I agree, I wish companies would get even close to the truth in marketing. I’ve started taking products back when they don’t do what the ads say. it’s an individual thing, but it’s my simple form of protest.

    good post. thanks

  3. You are so right! My dad loves to say that the commercials for medications should show the actors acting out the side effects. Gross! My fave are the mascara commercials where a man can’t stop staring at a woman’s eyelashes. Like, hhave you ever hears a guy say, “Her eyelashes look so amazing!” No, because they usually don’t notice. Oh, and the feminine hygiene products. Whow really wants to go play tennis, in white, while they are on their period. No one, that’s who. I could go on, but I should stop. Great post!

    • Oh my gosh, I love your dad’s idea. That would be hilarious. We joke about the ‘side effects’ in those commercials all the time. Our family is known to add on a random, “May cause … ” and we’ll get very creative. haha!

      Absolutely on the tennis, white outfit on your period. Yeah, like that would ever happen!

      Glad you enjoyed the post.

  4. The only thing I’ve found Mr. Clean does not remove – hair dye from anywhere in the bathroom. Thank you, my darling daughter. Well, I really wanted to paint and redo the tile anyway, so I guess it’s a blessing in disguise…

    I happen to love Falsies mascara. I’m also loving Bare Minerals, Clinique, and L’Oreal mascaras right now. One for definition and the other for volume. I’m kind of a make up slut. It does really, really bug me, though when they show the lashes and clearly the girl is wearing falsies. I mean, come ON! We’re not that dumb, but the marketers think we are and that makes me cranky.

    • Hair dye brought down Mr. Clean? Say it isn’t so!! 😉 My daughter is on this huge nail polish kick. I find smudges everywhere. Thankfully remover usually does the trick, or My Magic Eraser.

      My Falsies mascara is really wet. I did wipe the wand off in a tissue one day and it was way nicer. So that good, but then I’m wiping off product I paid for. Yes, it was less than $10, but still. I plan to try the Bare Minerals one next. I use almost all Bare Minerals products (was going to shorten to BM products but eewww!!!) on my face and their eye shadows too, so I’ll probably love the mascara. Always have loved Clinique products too, especially their 7-day scrub!

      Glad I’m not the only one who gets cranky at the ridiculousness of it.

  5. Oh, I know! I don’t even watch commercials anymore because they irritate the cr** out of me. The mascaras are the worse, right with the haircolor products (I don’t use them now but I did in the past), a gimmicky workout equipment and weight loss products. I don’t believe in any of these. Period.

    As for the makeup – for my eyes I can only use the natural products from PCC or Whole Foods Market. Lipsticks from L’Oreal or Revlon etc. are okay though. I’m blessed with unnaturally long eye lashes but I know that anything that is “supposed to” extend them with a simple sweep of a wand is a gimmick. Just sayin.

    • My biggest beef is usually the any workout equipment or weight loss stuff. In fact, I get really annoyed with news shows have a health and fitness segment and get it so blatantly wrong. I’m arguing with my TV, eyes rolling, arms flailing in protest! Not that I’m dramatic or anything.

      I have long lashes too, but they used to be longer and fuller. No fair that they suffer with age just like other stuff. Can’t we keep just one thing? *grin*

  6. Ginger, Mr. Clean Eraser is magic, it takes scuffs off walls and restores whiteness. AMAZING.

  7. Ab-so-lutely! Don’t even get me started on celulite cream. The magic eraser is pretty freakin’ great! I was told it removed perm. Marker from a leather chair…hear say, not to be confused with false advertising.

    • Too true, Kim. I was going to include cellulite cream but I’d already blasted the fit/shape shoes things. There is something that actually will help cellulite and that’s foam rolling. They are hard, dense foam rollers that you can use before or after working out, for recovery, rehab, everything and a fortunate by-product is they will actually help reduce cellulite. Bonus!

      Also, I know first hand that the Magic Eraser will get ink pen (and a huge scribbled lot of it) out of a suede-like leather product. It takes some time and effort on that one, but success in the end! 🙂

  8. Author Kristen Lamb

    LOL! Awesome and all the “volumizing/lengthening” mascara just generally sucks. It’s like trying to swipe black Elmer’s glue on to your lashes.

    My gripe are the detergents that claim to get everything white as snow. Those commercials are hogwash. I swear they are just using new T-shirts. I use bleach and Oxy and….yeah, my husband looks like a dust rag.

    • Hi Kristen. Thanks for swinging by my little ol’ blog. 🙂

      Exactly on the Elmers. What the heck?

      Good point about detergents. I’d forgotten about those. Totally inflated promises of pearly white shirts, sheets and our hair blowing in the ‘ocean breeze’ air, waves crashes as we pull on our sparkly clean no-show socks. Riiiightt!!!

  9. Ginger, as you know I’m a natural cleanser girl. I could never buy into the crap they say when selling most products.

    I might be stuck here, but I’ve used Clinique forever. I love their laser serium. I use their mascara, but that’s because I keep getting free mascara with their gifts. lol! Hey, a girls got to do what a girls got to do. Free works. Oh, and their bottom lash mascara works good also.

    As I get older, I am trying new products. Anti aging stuff. Oh God Ginger, when did this all start. lol

    And as far as the tennis shoes giving you shapely legs. Uh, no. Got to do the work. Just sayin’. 🙂

    • Clinique is a great product. I used to sell it ages and eons ago. And funny you mentioned free trial mascaras. That’s all I used for YEARS! Since I never get to a mall anymore, no more freebies. Might be worth a trip at gift with purchase week. Those little samples worked great.

  10. Great points, Ginger! Having worked in fashion and advertising, I know too well the deceptiveness. Hair models wear wigs, so those radiant, hair-wooshing benefits we see on TV will never likely find our tresses. And holy shmoley, do many fitness, weight loss and diet products do nada—or more harm than good. The tiny print at the bottom of the screen that indicates: “results not typical” or “not an actual testimony” should really roll across the screen bottom in huge font. 😉

    • I didn’t realize hair models wore wigs? Oh my gosh, how naive am I?

      Totally right about that disclaimer. That’s what I’m saying. It should boldly say, ‘You will NOT look like Kim Kardasian when you wear these shoes. Get over it.’ 🙂

  11. I hate false advertising. Especially since I am SUCH a sucker at totally falling for the infomercial. I own a BowFlex and TRUST me, I ain’t getting the body SHE advertises by doing BowFlex 20 minutes a day, three times a week. GRRR! And you know, I think the BowFlex is a great product by why the need to misdirect people?!?! I don’t get it.
    Like August mentions, I hate the hair adds. NO ONE has hair that shiny – give me a break! And then how about the same shampoo brand by here’s one for volume, one for colored hair, one for curly hair, one for straight hair – HONESTLY, are the contents THAT different?!?!?! Seriously?!?!? I think they just slap different marketing on it to try and lure us in…and I hate it! Tell me what WORKS!
    I hear ya girl – major pet peeve! 🙂

  12. What was that movie called back in the 80s with Daryl Hannah and Dudley Moore? …wait I have to google… Ah-ha! Crazy People (1990, actually) – it was about advertisers who told the trutth. “Volvo. Boxy, but good.”

    I’m glad someone pointed out the mascara thing. I love the commercial that says, “Like you’re wearing false eyelashes but you’re not” and the models ARE ALL WEARING FALSE EYELASHES. Remember when they busted KFC for saying fried chicken was healthy? Where was our gov’t for the great mascara debacle?

    Great post! Glad I never bought those stupid shoes. 😉

    • I had totally forgotten about that movie. May have to re-watch. “Boxy, but good.” LOVE IT!!

      And riiiight, KFC healthy. *eye roll*

      Stupid shoes, yeah, I was mild in my opinion of them on the blog. I’ll leave it at that. haha! 😉

  1. Pingback: The Modern Author–A New Breed of Writer for the Digital Age of Publishing « Kristen Lamb's Blog

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