Just Say it Sucks
Don’t you wish advertisers would tell you the truth about a product? I realize if they did that, people would not buy their stuff and they’d not make any money. So maybe not the smartest marketing plan, but it would be nicer and certainly more honest. I mean how refreshing would it that be? The Truth!
Take mascaras for instance. There are a zillion kinds and they all tell you how your lashes will be amazingly transformed. But they lie! Like the one that says 8X the Volume. Really? Well, I tell you, that is not true. I tried it and my lashes did not expand 8 x times that day and they most definitely didn’t look like this. (photo removed)
Promises of fuller, longer, and curly thrown at you left and right. False eyelashes are the rage and now there’s a mascara called Falsies. You can just swipe those false-lashes right on. It doesn’t work. I have a tube. It sucks. Quite frankly it should be called, Goopy Gunk.
And before you think I’m out to vilify mascara, because I’m not, I love mascara. I just want it to not suck. Let’s look at some other false advertisements.
How about that shampoo where the woman in the commercial is having a very, um, exciting, shower. Really? It’s just shampoo. If she was having that great of a shower, well, let’s just say it wasn’t the essence of herbs
Don’t even get me started on those shape-shoes. You know, all the shoes out there now telling you that you don’t have to set foot in a gym to have the perfectly muscled and toned legs and butt. Just buy these shoes and walk around and VOILA—Bootilicious-is-Yours! What??!! If you could get the perfect rear-end from spending forty bucks and wearing a certain shoe, if they ‘really’ worked, everyone in the nation would be wearing them. In fact, there would be no need for advertisement. Be realistic! Sorry, the ad should say, “We don’t really work but you’ll try anyway just in case it’s really that easy … but it’s not.”
Here’s my tip of the day … no strike that, it’s the tip of forever. If you want an amazing backside and shapely legs, use this equipment correctly with a lot of weight on each end and eat clean wholesome food. Shoes optional! 🙂
And another thing, explain how ‘invisible solid’ results in white streaks on my t-shirt? Should be called, Deodorant – Will absolutely leave a mark.
Now, don’t think I’m cynical and grouchy. I just like some straight talk. I want to know how marketers can get away with these promises.
Some products actually deliver. When they do, I tell everyone about them.
Take Mr. Clean’s Magic Eraser. Now that thing is truly magical. I’m serious. I don’t know how it works but when in doubt, try it. It cleans anything, I swear! They don’t call it magic for nothing, folks. It’s legit!
What do you think? In the comments, you get to have some fun with me. Re-name a product for what it ‘really’ does and not what it promises to do.