WritersButt Wednesday: Calling for a Group Hug. You in?


This week, I hope you’ll allow me to deviate from my normal WritersButt sort of post where I give you workout ideas and tips, nutritional guidance with recipes and all that good stuff.  I’m taking a break so we can have a {Group Hug}. I don’t know about you, but I could use one.

Lately I’ve been inundated with bad news. Not about me directly but about people I care about. My Facebook stream is filled with people who need support, prayers and love. A little closer to home, I have two precious friends dealing with cancer scares. Then this week has been the kicker with some truly crushing news.  A mother and daughter, who are local friends, lost their son and brother respectively, leaving 2 little boys without a daddy.  Literally on the heels of that news, I found out that a cherished friend from entire youth lost his 1 ½ year old daughter.  This news left me numb with heartache. No parent should have to bury his or her child.  If that wasn’t enough, I found out another good friend was in the hospital in ICU dealing with some scary health issues when she should have been at home nuzzling, admiring, and nesting with her newborn.

No Fair! Why do these things happen? It makes you realize that life is so vulnerable and it’s easy to feel defeated by fate. There are so many things in life over which we have no control. We aren’t supposed to have control over everything. Coming from this recovering control-freak, this is proof I’ve evolved after a lot of hard work on this issue.

But what about this life, our lives, which can turn on a hair-trigger and shove us down and kick us while we’re down there? How can we protect ourselves, and our loved ones, from heartache and tragedy?

We can’t.

It’s called the ‘unknown’ for a reason. It’s not supposed to be known. We can’t waste our moments NOW to worry about what might be.  That’s one of the reasons I ask you all to keep a Gratitude Journal. It gives you something to focus on throughout your day, small things that give you gratitude.  If we go through our day looking for things for which to be grateful, chances are, we’ll find them … or we’ll MAKE them!

I spent some time this morning reflecting on my life and how I want to live it, the sort of person I want to be, so that I don’t waste a moment of it, because each moment is a gift.

On that note, here’s my list of thoughts on how to enrich your life, your days, your every moment to bring yourself and others joy.

*Don’t waste moments: Time is not waiting for you.

*Love with pure abandon.

*Take joy in small pleasures.

*Make someone smile. Yours will follow.

*Allow yourself to feel pain, for you’re alive to do so, and it’s not a bad thing.

*Give your shoulder to someone for their tears.

*Ask for a shoulder for yours.

*Open your arms and unclench your fists to release your hold on things you can’t control.

*Wish on stars.

*Believe in your wishes.

*Give yourself the gift of dreams.

*Honor them by chasing them.

*Believe in them so much, so completely, that they become your reality.

Huddle up! It’s time for that {{Group Hug}}.


About Ginger Calem

I never met a notebook I didn't want to buy. Pens speak to me. Sticky notes are dear to my heart. Some of my best friends are those clambering in my head trying to get onto the page. And when they have their stories told, and I release them to the world, I hope they'll be your friends too.

Posted on May 2, 2012, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 55 Comments.

  1. Arms open wide – now circling around you – now squeezing. Consider yourself cyber hugged!

    So sorry for the difficult time. My husband and I experienced a horrible year in 2008. We have 5 deaths in our circle of family and friends including my mother and his sister. We had moved out of our house to help care for my ailing mom and the bank finally foreclosed, my husband’s truck was repossessed because we were both working so few hours in order to care for our sick family. We ended up filing bankruptcy. My husband had a horrible horse riding accident, shattered his wrist and had to have shoulder surgery. We had no insurance. I lost almost 50 pounds (which I didn’t have to lose) and every day was so dark I didn’t think I’d ever “see” the sun again.

    But here I am. Stronger and more appreciative of all of the wonderful things around me every single day. I have stopped my car to admire a rainbow, stayed up really late to see an eclipse or meteor shower, silly little things I never did before. You are right, life is too short. Never take anything for granted and always be willing to give of yourself to someone else. You just never know when your caring gesture can save someone or make their day a little brighter.

    Hang in there, kiddo!

    Patricia Rickrode
    w/a Jansen Schmidt

    • Hi Patricia. Yep, you know the feeling. *sigh* I appreciate the hugs. I LOVE that you stop your car for a rainbow. That image alone made me smile and appreciate of moment of beauty. Thank you for that. {Hugs back}

  2. Coleen Patrick

    Sending hugs Ginger.

  3. {{hugs}}, Ginger. Your post is so inspiring.

  4. Big GROUP huge Ginger – sending you thoughts, prayers and strength – as well to your friends going through hard times.

  5. Hey, baby! Come here and let me give you a hug(())

    Sigh. This is life and we need to experience the downs to balance with the ups. The trouble is we never just get one down thing, we get four or five and that’s the kicker and we become sort of punch drunk and wonder what’s going to happen next. My love and prayers are with you and your friends at this difficult time.

    • Aww, thanks, Christine! You said it, it’s never just one thing. It’s a shove, a smack down and then a kick. I’m crying UNCLE!! 😉 The struggle is, often there is no way to help outside of prayers and trying to honor your own life and maybe spread some joy. I don’t know. Your hug feels great.

  6. Ginger, you’re an inspiration to me and to so many others. I’m happy to return the favor with a cyber hug.

  7. prudencemacleod

    Hi Ginger. You’re the rock for everybody, so no shame needing a hug. Big Squeeze!!!

  8. Wow, you are so inspiring! Great idea, I’m starting my gratitude journal today. A HUGE hug is being sent your way. BTW, I always have a shoulder for you.

    • Karen, you’re so wonderful. You know, there have been times that I’ve though of you and your shoulder and felt your support. That’s the sort of person you are to so many. I bet you love your gratitude journal!

  9. Aww, Ginger, come here, hunny! *pat**pat**pat*

    Wow, you’ve been through the wringer. These things do seem to come in bunches. I really like your approach to dealing with it – be grateful for the blessings you DO have. That helps me a lot, too.

    I also think – as a general rule, I’m not saying it applies here – that it’s important to understand that we shouldn’t compare our pain with someone else’s and feel guilty about it because it’s lesser in some way: e.g., death of a child trumps cancer, which trumps a cold (which I now have – ugh), which trumps an argument, and so on. Each person has his/her own difficulty going on, which is hard for that person in the right here and now. Does that make sense? Anyone who’s struggling, no matter what the reason, deserves a sympathetic ear.

    Just my two cents!
    Feel better,

    • Oh, Kathy. You make such a great point! I do that all the time. That is, I’ll have a grievance or some sort of ‘poor soul’ moment and then I’ll see on FB someone’s child is in the hospital, or someone else has some ‘bigger/worse’ thing and I feel guilty for complaining. I’m going to remember what you’ve said. Own my little slice of emotion for what it is and say prayers and have faith that everyone feels comfort and love in their struggles as well, big or small.

      That was more than 2 cents worth. Thank you.

  10. Trish Haller

    Words aren’t enough, so I’m just hugging tight.

  11. Elena Aitken

    hell yes, Ginger.
    I too have been feeling like it’s all coming crashing down with the bad news and stress. It’s hard. And it’s even harder not to have the ‘poor me’ moments.
    I hear ya.
    Amazing advice and spoken/written from the heart. EXACTLY what I needed to read today.
    Thank you and move over, I’m coming in for the group hug.

  12. {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{<3}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} Group hug on its way! Sometimes life is not fair and it is difficult to remember to be grateful for the very fact that we have been given a new day. The truth of the matter, as you say, is that every moment of each day is a gift.Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Ginger, and keep believing them.

  13. Coming in for a super-mega-ultra-giant GUSHY hug! I’ve been going through something very similar, as you know. It’s times like these that it becomes so important to be good to yourself, and the people around you. You are a big part of my support system, and that’s something I’m grateful for every day.

    • *Squishy Hug* Thanks, Nicole. Isn’t it cool that when you are good to those around you, it makes you feel better too. Hang in there! I’m grateful for your support as well. It’s been a lot of years.

  14. Ginger, darling, there was one piece of advice that I was given a long time ago and it rings true in moments like these: every soul is only burdened with as much as it can handle. Along with that burden, you are also given all the tools you will ever need to deal wiht what life gives to you. Best to you my love, and hugs, hugs, hugs, xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

    • Great advice and one I take completely to heart. I have often said that I won’t be given more than I can handle and heavy burden make me stronger. I appreciate the hugs, and hugs and each and every hug!

  15. Please count me in, I could really use a group hug today! {{HUGS}}

  16. lynnkelleyauthor

    Oh, yes, group hug for sure! Such a beautiful post, yet full of sorrow, too. Just like life. I, too, have many people to pray for. So many. Heartbreaking things friends and loved ones are dealing with. Thank you for this post, Ginger.

  17. marcykennedy

    {{big hug}} Good choice in a departure for this week. Sometimes we all really do just need a hug.

  18. {{big hug}} I’m right there with you. I think some days we just need a hug.

  19. {{{{HUGS}}} to you, Ginger, and to the rest of the group. Life is hard and I suppose if we didn’t have those awful moments, we wouldn’t really appreciate all of the wonderful things we’re blessed with. You should always give yourself time to grieve, whether the hardship is yours or belongs to a loved one, and remember that support is only a click of the mouse — or hug — away! Take care of yourself and thank you for such a meaningful post!

    • Thank you, Sheila. It’s so special that, as you point out, support and love is always just a click away. I love how close I feel to so many of you whom I have never met. Well, face to face, because I do feel we’ve all ‘met’. Anyone who group hugs together, you know. 😉

  20. Reetta Raitanen

    *hugs tight* It’s hard when bad things happen to good people. I love your thoughts on how to make life better for you and people close to you.

  21. Hi Ginger, We follow each other on twitter but haven’t had a chance to interact all that much. Had to jump in with a cyber hug here though. I too have a lot of people around me who are having crazy (and sad) stuff going on right now. I was a psychotherapist for 20 years and there would be times when almost everybody I knew–clients, friends, family, and sometimes me too–had tragic and/or weird things happening in their lives. I really think the universe occasionally gets a little off kilter for awhile. But I’ve lived long enough to know it always rights itself again. Love your attitude. When things are going wrong is when it is most important to attend to the things that are going right. *big hug*

    • Hi Kassandra. Thanks so much for commenting on my blog and I really look forward to interacting with you more. I appreciate your comment. Yes, that’s exactly what I feel, that the universe is knocked a bit off kilter. What’s odd is that with the heartache and tragedy, really great things are happening too. It’s hard to figure it all out. I feel so heart-heavy for others but then a tad apprehensive to embrace the good that is happening. I know it’s all part of the balance, but it’s a vortex of emotion. But I’m going to do what you said, let my heart ache and grieve but keep focused on what is going right, because I owe it to the universe and it’s role in my life to do that. (if that makes sense) Anyhoo, HUGS back!

  22. {{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}} dear lady. sounds like you’ve got lots going on. One of the advantages of getting older is the knowledge that each day is precious. each must be treasured. soon time will run out. I have a friend who’d 35 yo husband was diagnosed and died of cancer within 6 weeks – and his diagnosis was 2 days after she had their second child. beyond belief what people have to put up with. take care of yourself.

    • Oh my gosh, Louise, I can’t imagine that woman’s crushing heartache. I’m treasuring my moments and every flash of joy in my life. You’re one of them! I appreciate you.

  23. {{{{{HUG}}}}} Aw, Ginger, honey. Take a deep breath. Sometimes the heart feels as if it simply cannot take one more of life’s arrows. When that happens it’s time to sit down and just feel the pain. Sometimes that’s all one can do. To be able to do what you need to, ask for what you need, is a strength. Here’s a couple of warm, energizing hugs for you and all my friends who need a little love to get through the pain. {{{{{{hug}}}}}

    • Thanks so much, Lynette. Your point about the heart feeling like it just can’t take another arrow is so true! I appreciate the energizing hugs. Those are always needed and welcomed!

  24. I’m so sorry to hear about all the sadness in the lives of people you care about. You are right that we can’t control it, and also right that focusing on the positive helps. Thanks for the Gratitiude Journal reminder. Lately I have just been falling into bed at the end of long days, and haven’t been writing down the things I’m grateful for. That will change today!

  25. Jennette Marie Powell

    Coming in late, but it sounds like you still need the hugs, so consider yourself group-hugged! I so admire your ability to remain as positive and upbeat as you are in the face of all this bad news. Here’s hoping it’s better soon!

  26. Oh, hugs. I know the feeling.

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