Google is the new Sex Ed
I do not consider myself someone who lives under a rock or is clueless about the, shall we say, sexier part of life. For starters, there was some wild years way back when. And I’ve been married over 18 years with three children born from that marriage. I’m well aware the stork didn’t drop them off. I’ve seen some racy movies and I’ve read me some saucy books. So it always shocks me when, well, I’m shocked.
Let me explain. Next month I’ll be traveling to Surrey, BC to attend the Surrey International Writers’ Conference. While there I’ll be presenting a workshop about my ongoing blog segment, WritersButt, where I harangue encourage people to incorporate fitness into their daily writing life (or any life!), to eat well and all that good stuff, to promote creativity and better fitness. For my workshop, I thought it would be fun to have a prize or two, or a fun giftie to hand out. Right? Wouldn’t that be kind of cool?
So, I’ve been searching for stuff and not coming up with anything that really knocked my socks off. I Googled ‘WritersButt’ where I saw some interesting images. I Googled ‘Potty Squats’ which brought back a plethora of memories and vivid images of the toilets in Japan. Then I tried ‘Butt Novelties’.
Now, stop laughing. I thought there would be little notepads with Butt jokes, maybe even a Butt Bobblehead. I don’t know. But, (no pun intended) I did not expect to see terms like expandable plugs or some product called a butt banger. It appears as if some company, unfortunately named liquid@ss sells a bottled butt crack fragrance. Like, there’s really a market for that?
Ah, the things I learn! This brought back another time when I was riding the clueless train. A few years ago I was in New York visiting one of my best writing friends with another best writing friend. There was an industry luncheon where we got to schmooze with agents, editors and other writers. Fun times.
At one point, there were five of us tooling around town, four writers and an editor for, among other things, erotic romance. I was in the back seat with my besties and from the front the term SMBD is bandied about. (P.S. I just had to Google that to make sure I had the acronym right. OY!)
Friend on the right whispers to me, “What’s that stand for?” Now, I didn’t want to seem like a complete noob, so I confidently answer, “Oh, it’s that number attached to books for sales and stuff.” (ISBN number)
Um, friend on the left starts laughing – and explaining. Ginger gets educated. Much hilarity and guffawing commence.
Who knew??!! Ok, I bet you all did but I didn’t. Now I do!
And now I also know a thing or two about butt novelties that I’m pretty sure I didn’t need to know.
Thanks, Google. It’s been an enlightening day.
Please tell me I’m not alone? Some of you have to have run across some stuff in Google searching that gave you the jaw-drop. Come’on – Fess up!!